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In A Nutshell

Ladies, Don’t ‘box’ Him In!

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I had an interesting conversation with a male friend recently. Ours is the type of friendship that is being built on the foundation of a “safe space”. I could, and do vent to him regularly about things and vice versa…or so I thought.

The conversation started with him expressing displeasure over something that had taken place earlier that day. He was explaining how a situation had affected him emotionally because of a broken promise.

Upon only hearing the pieces of his story that my own bias filtered to my ears, I was readying myself to give him the “it’s not that serious” speech. Truth is, I was only listening to respond, instead of giving him the time he required to speak.

Then I remembered a post I had seen recently : ‘Men need a space to vent. Without judgement or concern of their feelings being used against them….’

You see, contrary to what we’ve grown up believing, men have feelings too.
And they can and should be comfortable being vulnerable.

It got me thinking about all the other times I may have hindered a male friend, partner or even a family member from being able to express his feelings about something to me.

How many times have we told men what they should do or judged them for appearing too vulnerable or emotional over something? (I know Im guilty of this.)

Men are human too. They like to be cared for and given attention. They desire nice things. Some like to be wined and dined. Spoilt even. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Even in moments when we show we care, like when buying gifts for example, we give them what we think they need and not what they might actually like, want or enjoy . How many times have we heard men complain about the annual predictable gifts of ties and socks?

When was the last time that we actually sat down and planned a gift or an experience that a male friend, partner or family member would truly like.

For me, it was earlier this month for a birthday celebration. I really wanted to give my friend something special – something that spoke to him and his kind nature.

So, I did a little search on ig and found ‘The Gift Box TT’. They offer these really nice personalized gift boxes. I was able to choose items that I knew he would enjoy having. It was a good balance of treats, personal care items and gadgets.

I think that presenting him with the package was more fulfilling for me than I expected. Needless to say, he was truly surprised.

So, if you’re thinking of gifting yet another tie or pair of socks for a birthday or celebration of any kind, ditch that idea completely and create a gift box of things that he might actually desire.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Thaddy BOOM

    22nd October 2021 at 3:00 PM

    I know the feeling all too well. Sigh! I appreciate the light being spread, and hope persons can be active about it.

  2. Richard Trumpet

    24th October 2021 at 7:59 AM

    Thank you for this thank you

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In A Nutshell

‘Sis’ is Tired! I am Sis. Who are You? It’s Time to Fix That.

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Sometimes in this beautiful process of healing and growth, we may think that we’ve overcome a particular challenge, learnt all the lessons and are ready for the next level. Then, life may come along and test us to see if we’ve truly evolved, or if more work is needed.  

Honestly, in that moment we may feel so defeated, but please know that that’s only a feeling.           For some time now, I’ve been doing the work on myself, spending that quality time with myself, doing therapy, speaking kindly to myself, looking in the mirror and liking what I see , ending situations with people and things that no longer serve me, pushing toward my goals and all of that, so I figured that I was well on my way to “perfecting” this self-love thing. Right?

Truth is, self love isn’t a course that you complete and graduate from. It’s a living breathing thing. It’s an everyday thing. It isn’t always pretty. It requires work and forgiveness and holding yourself accountable for shortcomings and errors; But also giving yourself grace and second chances to do better. 

Loving yourself also means taking care of you. Not just the external ‘you’ that dresses up and goes out, but the ‘you’ that juggles emotions, decisions and has to focus on so many things at the same time. The ‘you’ that has to deal with loss, death and disappointment.  The ‘you’ that needs rest, that requires peace of mind and simply an ease up at times.

I thought I was “handling” all these things well. But the truth is I’ve been frustrated, tired and drained. Not only by the uncertainty of the times we’re in due to the pandemic, but also by the overwhelming pressure from social media, the continuous loss of loved ones and so much more. I’ve been feeling like I’m not hitting the targets I set out to accomplish daily, but then it hit me! I realized that it wasn’t because I was demotivated or because I was procrastinating – It was simply because, ‘sis is tired!’

It’s crazy to think that all this time I’ve been running on an empty tank , falsely believing that I didn’t need to take a break, telling everyone else that they should, but not giving myself permission to pause. So from next week I am hitting the snooze button on life for a bit and scheduling much needed time to spend with loved ones, but also ample amounts of rest and self care.

First up on the list is a spa day. And what better way to ‘spa on a budget’ than with Cheveu Beauty Secret. They have these compact gift boxes with just the right products to take care of yourself from head to toe-hair products, facial masks, a wonderful detox mask for your feet and much more. I’m so looking forward to pampering myself with this package from the comfort of my home. I deserve this ‘me time’ and so do you.

Have a safe and enjoyable Christmas and remember to take time to rest because there is only one you!

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In A Nutshell

Did Your Mom Give You The ‘Outside Clothes’ Talk Too?

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If you were raised in a household like mine, with a mother who had slight OCD tendencies, then you would be familiar with the phrase, “don’t sit on the bed with your outside clothes!”

In fact, anytime you’d visit someone’s home, much to their confusion, you’d raise the sheet/chair covering before sitting or sit on the edge of the seat or mattress. Am I right? No? Just me? Okay…

Needless to say, I’m familiar with having to sanitise my hands, change my clothes after returning from ‘outside,’ but, it’s never been mandatory up until now.

When the pandemic first surfaced , we were told of all the ways we could protect ourselves from being infected. I just had not considered how this change would impact our lifestyle. Gone are the days of coming home and being greeted at the front door with hugs and conversations with loved ones, or going straight to the kitchen after a long day of work to get a head start on preparing dinner. No. The welcome home greeting mat has now been replaced with a sanitization station. And there are Covid protocols governing how we operate on the “inside” of our homes. 

At the very notice of a sniffle or the faintest cough, an onslaught of questions arise and the rest of the household slightly distances itself, as a precautionary measure. This feeling of helplessness, which stems from the fear of getting the virus, is daunting to say the least. 

Not being able to embrace, touch or move as we’ve been used to, is strange, and I’m not sure how long this ‘coldness’ may have to last, but one thing I do know is that we cannot allow ourselves to become emotionally disconnected, as much as this time calls for social distancing. For this particular reason, I’m super grateful for the team at Zee’s Cleaning Supplies. To be honest, they’ve made this process a lot easier to handle. Among their wide range of household cleaning products, the team offers the ultimate Sanitization combo. This package has everything you need to sanitize your living/work space on a daily basis at an affordable price. Plus, you can order online and have it delivered straight to you.

With this level of convenience, I get back time, which I can spend at home with loved ones while ensuring that we continue to maintain the cleanliness needed to combat this virus. 

Check out their offers so you can continue to check in with your loved ones.

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