I had an interesting conversation with a male friend recently. Ours is the type of friendship that is being built on the foundation of a “safe space”. I could, and do vent to him regularly about things and vice versa…or so I thought.
The conversation started with him expressing displeasure over something that had taken place earlier that day. He was explaining how a situation had affected him emotionally because of a broken promise.
Upon only hearing the pieces of his story that my own bias filtered to my ears, I was readying myself to give him the “it’s not that serious” speech. Truth is, I was only listening to respond, instead of giving him the time he required to speak.
Then I remembered a post I had seen recently : ‘Men need a space to vent. Without judgement or concern of their feelings being used against them….’
You see, contrary to what we’ve grown up believing, men have feelings too.
And they can and should be comfortable being vulnerable.
It got me thinking about all the other times I may have hindered a male friend, partner or even a family member from being able to express his feelings about something to me.
How many times have we told men what they should do or judged them for appearing too vulnerable or emotional over something? (I know Im guilty of this.)
Men are human too. They like to be cared for and given attention. They desire nice things. Some like to be wined and dined. Spoilt even. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Even in moments when we show we care, like when buying gifts for example, we give them what we think they need and not what they might actually like, want or enjoy . How many times have we heard men complain about the annual predictable gifts of ties and socks?
When was the last time that we actually sat down and planned a gift or an experience that a male friend, partner or family member would truly like.
For me, it was earlier this month for a birthday celebration. I really wanted to give my friend something special – something that spoke to him and his kind nature.
So, I did a little search on ig and found ‘The Gift Box TT’. They offer these really nice personalized gift boxes. I was able to choose items that I knew he would enjoy having. It was a good balance of treats, personal care items and gadgets.
I think that presenting him with the package was more fulfilling for me than I expected. Needless to say, he was truly surprised.
So, if you’re thinking of gifting yet another tie or pair of socks for a birthday or celebration of any kind, ditch that idea completely and create a gift box of things that he might actually desire.