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In A Nutshell

Fight For Your Fairytale. And This Is Why!

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Approx. 3 min read

Love is not a drill.

I grew up in church hearing accounts of a love that never failed. A love that took on the blame of others and made a way for them to be saved – A love that surrendered and conquered all.

In my personal life I felt that to love someone meant to work hard to please them. Make them comfortable at all times , become all that they needed, avoid conflict with them, never anger them, aways ensure that they were happy…. So, that’s exactly what I had set out to do in this world.

But, as you can imagine, I was utterly disappointed by the harsh realities of life. I failed on every account. And no matter how hard I tried or how committed I was to ‘making things work’ – I never found the ‘love’ that I was searching for.

You see, love isn’t one dimensional. It’s not this or that – it’s everything.  And between the burning and learning, the heartbreaks and the ups and downs, I eventually acknowledged that I was ‘doing it wrong’. This fairytale-type idea of love that I had wasn’t ideal, or was it?

I was neglecting myself. Scrap that. I didn’t know myself. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t even know what love was. Yet, I was desperately searching for something that I knew nothing about. 

I was kind, patient and committed to being the best thing everyone ever had except it was a facade. I wasn’t kind to myself. I wasn’t patient with myself, nor was I committed to being the best version of myself for me.

It took being alone, with nothing but my thoughts to begin this process of self-discovery and love. Every bit of love that I had ever given out so freely I had to call back to myself. Imagine always being around someone you disliked. Well, that’s how I felt about myself. Sad, right?

Repairing that broken image of myself in my mind took a lot of intentional work and rebuilding that relationship I had with myself took a long time. It really wasn’t easy. But, in order to live a fulfilling life it was necessary for me to do.

I started with baby steps. Learning to say kind words to myself, looking in the mirror daily and giving myself a compliment, allowed room for growth. Spending time alone and getting to know me, doing therapy- all in all, it was a lengthy undertaking and I’m still learning and growing, but I’m 100% not where I used to be and for that I am grateful.

Nowadays, I know myself and my worth. My time, my love, my energy, my loyalty is precious and I choose very carefully what or who I invest in and/or align myself with.  I didn’t come this far to settle nor am I compromising my standards for anyone or anything. I do not negotiate when it comes to my peace of mind. I will block, delete or walk away from anything that no longer serves me. I deserve the best. Even when things don’t go according to plan or disappointments come, I know that I’m working towards a greater purpose for my life and everything will move into place as I continue to push through and progress.

Within the process of learning me, I set goals and have a vision for my life. I know my purpose and I want my fairytale! My happily ever after where I achieve all of my goals and fulfil my destiny, with or without ‘Prince Charming’.

So yes, I want my cake and I want to eat it too…once it comes from Sweet Surrender TT though. Their pies, cupcakes, cakesicles, cakepops, cookies and more are to live for! Those delicious goodies can be the best pick-me-ups, desserts, treats or anything you want them to be. With mouth-watering flavours like Cappuccino, Baileys, Ponche de Creme, Blueberry,  Caramel chocolate, Milk Chocolate, Red Velvet… Need I say more? 

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In A Nutshell

‘Sis’ is Tired! I am Sis. Who are You? It’s Time to Fix That.

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Approx. 2 min read

Sometimes in this beautiful process of healing and growth, we may think that we’ve overcome a particular challenge, learnt all the lessons and are ready for the next level. Then, life may come along and test us to see if we’ve truly evolved, or if more work is needed.  

Honestly, in that moment we may feel so defeated, but please know that that’s only a feeling.           For some time now, I’ve been doing the work on myself, spending that quality time with myself, doing therapy, speaking kindly to myself, looking in the mirror and liking what I see , ending situations with people and things that no longer serve me, pushing toward my goals and all of that, so I figured that I was well on my way to “perfecting” this self-love thing. Right?

Truth is, self love isn’t a course that you complete and graduate from. It’s a living breathing thing. It’s an everyday thing. It isn’t always pretty. It requires work and forgiveness and holding yourself accountable for shortcomings and errors; But also giving yourself grace and second chances to do better. 

Loving yourself also means taking care of you. Not just the external ‘you’ that dresses up and goes out, but the ‘you’ that juggles emotions, decisions and has to focus on so many things at the same time. The ‘you’ that has to deal with loss, death and disappointment.  The ‘you’ that needs rest, that requires peace of mind and simply an ease up at times.

I thought I was “handling” all these things well. But the truth is I’ve been frustrated, tired and drained. Not only by the uncertainty of the times we’re in due to the pandemic, but also by the overwhelming pressure from social media, the continuous loss of loved ones and so much more. I’ve been feeling like I’m not hitting the targets I set out to accomplish daily, but then it hit me! I realized that it wasn’t because I was demotivated or because I was procrastinating – It was simply because, ‘sis is tired!’

It’s crazy to think that all this time I’ve been running on an empty tank , falsely believing that I didn’t need to take a break, telling everyone else that they should, but not giving myself permission to pause. So from next week I am hitting the snooze button on life for a bit and scheduling much needed time to spend with loved ones, but also ample amounts of rest and self care.

First up on the list is a spa day. And what better way to ‘spa on a budget’ than with Cheveu Beauty Secret. They have these compact gift boxes with just the right products to take care of yourself from head to toe-hair products, facial masks, a wonderful detox mask for your feet and much more. I’m so looking forward to pampering myself with this package from the comfort of my home. I deserve this ‘me time’ and so do you.

Have a safe and enjoyable Christmas and remember to take time to rest because there is only one you!

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In A Nutshell

Did Your Mom Give You The ‘Outside Clothes’ Talk Too?

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Approx. 2 min read

If you were raised in a household like mine, with a mother who had slight OCD tendencies, then you would be familiar with the phrase, “don’t sit on the bed with your outside clothes!”

In fact, anytime you’d visit someone’s home, much to their confusion, you’d raise the sheet/chair covering before sitting or sit on the edge of the seat or mattress. Am I right? No? Just me? Okay…

Needless to say, I’m familiar with having to sanitise my hands, change my clothes after returning from ‘outside,’ but, it’s never been mandatory up until now.

When the pandemic first surfaced , we were told of all the ways we could protect ourselves from being infected. I just had not considered how this change would impact our lifestyle. Gone are the days of coming home and being greeted at the front door with hugs and conversations with loved ones, or going straight to the kitchen after a long day of work to get a head start on preparing dinner. No. The welcome home greeting mat has now been replaced with a sanitization station. And there are Covid protocols governing how we operate on the “inside” of our homes. 

At the very notice of a sniffle or the faintest cough, an onslaught of questions arise and the rest of the household slightly distances itself, as a precautionary measure. This feeling of helplessness, which stems from the fear of getting the virus, is daunting to say the least. 

Not being able to embrace, touch or move as we’ve been used to, is strange, and I’m not sure how long this ‘coldness’ may have to last, but one thing I do know is that we cannot allow ourselves to become emotionally disconnected, as much as this time calls for social distancing. For this particular reason, I’m super grateful for the team at Zee’s Cleaning Supplies. To be honest, they’ve made this process a lot easier to handle. Among their wide range of household cleaning products, the team offers the ultimate Sanitization combo. This package has everything you need to sanitize your living/work space on a daily basis at an affordable price. Plus, you can order online and have it delivered straight to you.

With this level of convenience, I get back time, which I can spend at home with loved ones while ensuring that we continue to maintain the cleanliness needed to combat this virus. 

Check out their offers so you can continue to check in with your loved ones.

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