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In A Nutshell

Oh! The Sh*t I’ve Been Through…BUT, Ever Realized Gratitude Tastes Alot Like Ice Cream?

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Approx. 3 min read

There was a point in time when I had nothing. Barely enough for food, struggling for money to cover monthly expenses, and I felt absolutely alone.

Back then I was bitter. Angry about my living situation and filled with so much unforgiveness towards the people that I felt put me there. I would cry myself to sleep- sleep away the hunger. And in the mornings I would wake up thinking “God, why am I still here?”

I genuinely felt like my presence on earth was not needed, and that for whatever reason God was probably keeping me alive for comic relief. Like I said, it was an emotionally dark space, a mentally frustrating place, and there seemed to be no way out.

The only thing that gave me a sense of purpose and made me feel like I belonged, was work. There I had co-workers who eventually became some of my really good friends. Though I was extremely private and kept a lot of my struggles to myself, they were always encouraging and supportive with their words toward me. In many ways I think that without those friendships I may not have been able to survive those trying times.

One night I recall that things got really bad and I felt like I was truly forsaken. I remember shouting to the heavens, “I have nothing – nothing at all!”

Those words echoed throughout my apartment, but it felt like a dagger straight to my heart and I kept mulling over the statement – ‘I had nothing? Nothing?’… I looked around and started making mental note of the things that were in front of me.

I had shelter. I had a job to pay for the shelter. I had a fridge – empty, small but a fridge nonetheless. And that night I stayed up listing out all the things that I had, including the friendships. I realised that there were people who cared about me, who knew I existed and were actually happy that I was around.

That night and many many nights after that, I made a list, which I now know is a gratitude list, identifying all the things that I had, that I was grateful for.

This new way of operating changed me. Though my problems still existed I began to see them differently – not as dead-ends but as things that I could work through and overcome, with time.

You see, I had to learn gratitude in the midst of my lack. I had to become grateful for what I did have and not focus on all the things that I didn’t. I had to count my blessings even when I felt like I wasn’t one.

I started thinking about things that would cheer me up, like what I would buy if I had money. What food would make me feel good. And it was always ice cream.

To me gratitude is alot like ice cream.

When ice cream is at a particular temperature it’s cold and hard but once the temperature changes , it defrosts and makes for a delicious treat.

Likewise, the situation that we’re in may be tough and have us cold, angry and even bitter, but once we change the way we view things the situation looks a lot different – more manageable.

To this day ice cream is still my favourite treat. And thanks to the beautiful couple behind the Trinidad and Tobago brand, Milk and Honey Ice Cream I can enjoy this dessert as often as I like. It’s delicious and affordable.

I like my ice cream in abundance and I’ve learnt that in abundance there is gratitude.

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In A Nutshell

‘Sis’ is Tired! I am Sis. Who are You? It’s Time to Fix That.

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Approx. 2 min read

Sometimes in this beautiful process of healing and growth, we may think that we’ve overcome a particular challenge, learnt all the lessons and are ready for the next level. Then, life may come along and test us to see if we’ve truly evolved, or if more work is needed.  

Honestly, in that moment we may feel so defeated, but please know that that’s only a feeling.           For some time now, I’ve been doing the work on myself, spending that quality time with myself, doing therapy, speaking kindly to myself, looking in the mirror and liking what I see , ending situations with people and things that no longer serve me, pushing toward my goals and all of that, so I figured that I was well on my way to “perfecting” this self-love thing. Right?

Truth is, self love isn’t a course that you complete and graduate from. It’s a living breathing thing. It’s an everyday thing. It isn’t always pretty. It requires work and forgiveness and holding yourself accountable for shortcomings and errors; But also giving yourself grace and second chances to do better. 

Loving yourself also means taking care of you. Not just the external ‘you’ that dresses up and goes out, but the ‘you’ that juggles emotions, decisions and has to focus on so many things at the same time. The ‘you’ that has to deal with loss, death and disappointment.  The ‘you’ that needs rest, that requires peace of mind and simply an ease up at times.

I thought I was “handling” all these things well. But the truth is I’ve been frustrated, tired and drained. Not only by the uncertainty of the times we’re in due to the pandemic, but also by the overwhelming pressure from social media, the continuous loss of loved ones and so much more. I’ve been feeling like I’m not hitting the targets I set out to accomplish daily, but then it hit me! I realized that it wasn’t because I was demotivated or because I was procrastinating – It was simply because, ‘sis is tired!’

It’s crazy to think that all this time I’ve been running on an empty tank , falsely believing that I didn’t need to take a break, telling everyone else that they should, but not giving myself permission to pause. So from next week I am hitting the snooze button on life for a bit and scheduling much needed time to spend with loved ones, but also ample amounts of rest and self care.

First up on the list is a spa day. And what better way to ‘spa on a budget’ than with Cheveu Beauty Secret. They have these compact gift boxes with just the right products to take care of yourself from head to toe-hair products, facial masks, a wonderful detox mask for your feet and much more. I’m so looking forward to pampering myself with this package from the comfort of my home. I deserve this ‘me time’ and so do you.

Have a safe and enjoyable Christmas and remember to take time to rest because there is only one you!

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In A Nutshell

Did Your Mom Give You The ‘Outside Clothes’ Talk Too?

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If you were raised in a household like mine, with a mother who had slight OCD tendencies, then you would be familiar with the phrase, “don’t sit on the bed with your outside clothes!”

In fact, anytime you’d visit someone’s home, much to their confusion, you’d raise the sheet/chair covering before sitting or sit on the edge of the seat or mattress. Am I right? No? Just me? Okay…

Needless to say, I’m familiar with having to sanitise my hands, change my clothes after returning from ‘outside,’ but, it’s never been mandatory up until now.

When the pandemic first surfaced , we were told of all the ways we could protect ourselves from being infected. I just had not considered how this change would impact our lifestyle. Gone are the days of coming home and being greeted at the front door with hugs and conversations with loved ones, or going straight to the kitchen after a long day of work to get a head start on preparing dinner. No. The welcome home greeting mat has now been replaced with a sanitization station. And there are Covid protocols governing how we operate on the “inside” of our homes. 

At the very notice of a sniffle or the faintest cough, an onslaught of questions arise and the rest of the household slightly distances itself, as a precautionary measure. This feeling of helplessness, which stems from the fear of getting the virus, is daunting to say the least. 

Not being able to embrace, touch or move as we’ve been used to, is strange, and I’m not sure how long this ‘coldness’ may have to last, but one thing I do know is that we cannot allow ourselves to become emotionally disconnected, as much as this time calls for social distancing. For this particular reason, I’m super grateful for the team at Zee’s Cleaning Supplies. To be honest, they’ve made this process a lot easier to handle. Among their wide range of household cleaning products, the team offers the ultimate Sanitization combo. This package has everything you need to sanitize your living/work space on a daily basis at an affordable price. Plus, you can order online and have it delivered straight to you.

With this level of convenience, I get back time, which I can spend at home with loved ones while ensuring that we continue to maintain the cleanliness needed to combat this virus. 

Check out their offers so you can continue to check in with your loved ones.

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